


Moving Up

by ChainSmokesPens



Category: Original Work
Genre: American Presidents, Flash Fic, Humor, Outer Space, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:47:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28826202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChainSmokesPens/pseuds/ChainSmokesPens
Summary: Prompt: [WP] Aliens offer us an Encyclopedia Galactica as long we give them exclusive rights to one of the planets in our solar system, forever.





	Moving Up

"Madame President, have you heard the news?" the executive said, bursting into the Oval Office, perspiration saturating his otherwise well-kept suit.  
"Yes!" the president exclaimed, rising from her seat. "I heard. Do it."  
"Okay." The exec took a moment to catch his breath, regain his posture, and thumb his notepad in a professional manner. "Okay, but we need to discuss this with the United Nations--"  
"Oliver," the president interrupted. "Give them Mars."  
Oliver stammered a bit. "But, we've spent so many years--"  
"Give it to them."  
"Don't you think we should--"  
"Give it!"  
"Consult the United Nations?"  
There was a moment of silence between them, the president looking at Oliver like the stupidest man alive.  
He chose to continue. "The U.N. hasn't decided what to do yet. They're debating if they should give a planet up, which one they should consider giving up, if this is a ploy by the aliens..."  
"Oliver." The president rounded her desk and cupped the executive's cheeks like she was soothing a child. "Listen. Are you listening?"  
"Yes," he affirmed with a nod, cheeks squished and lips pursed.  
"They're big colorful rocks covered in gas drifting in space. You could live another hundred years and not step foot on Mars. Let them have Mars or Venus or any of the other big dumb rocks floating around the sun!"  
Oliver grabbed the presidents wrists and removed her hands. "But if we go against the U.N.--"  
"I don't give a rat's gray ass about the United Nations!"  
Oliver was shocked, jumped, and dropped his notes as he raised his hands, pleading with his eyes for her to stop.  
For good measure, she reached for his shirt and pulled it open, buttons flying in every direction, to see the wire he had taped to his chest.  
She leaned in directly to the microphone, practically motorboating him, and shouted, "I don't care what the U.N. wants! I drag race in a rocket ship and nail alien studs like a genderbent Captain Kirk!"  
She pulled herself back, hands still firmly holding onto the lapels of his jacket. "If they have a problem with it, I 'll just take the whole country to the stars with me. Let those dumb bastards delegate on this dying rock!"  
"Madame President!" Oliver interjected.  
She continued, releasing him and walking back behind her desk. "I'm gonna shoot a robot with a laser gun."  
She heaved a heavy metal briefcase onto her desk. "I'm gonna ride a giant sand worm in a struggle for socio-economic revolution."  
She unlatched the case and immediately began flipping switches. "I'm gonna eat another sapient creature that's been deep fried in eleven alien herbs and spices!"  
Oliver was about to speak up again, but stopped when he saw the twist of her wrist and heard the click of an electronic lock.  
She pierced him with her glare. "Now get those little green nerds on the phone right now, Oliver. Before I decide to trash this apartment before we move out!"

**Author's Note:**

> Wasn't really up for writing today, but decided to scan the prompts anyway. Figured I'd just pick a quick one for a poem, ended up writing a short. Thought I'd do something different and make it about three paragraphs long, it turned into this as I was writing.  
> Do not doubt the benefits of repetition in developing new habits.


End file.
